Monday, February 18, 2008

Promise in a blog

Blog about promises, blog about a wedding.

Two people I did not know were married on Saturday evening. I went to their celebration as a guest of a guest and from my non-partial view point, I observed more than just an exchange of vows.

By way of wishing both the bride and groom a long life together, I was sincere, but it occurred to me that perhaps they did not have a clue what the whole thing meant.
The ritual of marriage is based on promise. A promise being the one thing in life, you can not break. But wait, pause the camera and look around; there and over there lay so many broken promises, more in fact than the amount of confetti thrown at the bride and groom.

So what of those promises?

Did the young couple with joined hands at Saturday’s wedding take a course on how “not” to go back on their word? Both were children of long term marriages and their parents, in turn were the same. This bride and groom had role models. Do they have the inside scoop on how to sustain marriage?

Is a person like me, child of divorce and parent of divorce incapable of knowing what they know?

Asked once, this very question, I responded by saying that if after marriage you wished to bring children into this world then you must be absolutely sure that you would and could love each other forever, no matter what, till death do you part.
But those words were not spoken on Saturday; something less morbid replaced that phrase. The words exchanged implied love forever but no shadow of demise as the end of the union.

Weddings always bring out the tears in me. The music alone raises the hair on my arms. I am acutely aware of the words spoken; aware of the promises being made. One of the readings, my favorite, speaks of love being patient and kind.

I do not believe that there is a formula that can be mixed up like a potion and given to the newly married couple. Their fate is in their own hands. They can learn from those who came before but only the two of them can keep the promises made.

I am hopeful and optimistic about the making of promises. I do not make them easily, but when I do they are etched in stone.

Blog what you think, what you hear and what you see.

Linda Merlino,author, Belly of the Whale
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