It has been almost eight years since you died, but I still find you in unexpected places. Is it any wonder that questions and curiosities about you show up in my writing and my journey as a mother?
I find you in the soap products I still use because you used them.
I find you every time I hear ANY song from Fiddler on the Roof because you played that 8-Track tape until it broke.
I find you in the lines on my face, which is starting to show glimpses of you in your 40s.
I find you in the little ways I protect my children; and though I haven't sewn them neon orange coats to wear to school so all the cars will see them - I now know that coat was stitched from a mother's love.
I find you in that old AM radio station when it plays The Entertainer.
I find you in slim, green glass iced-cold Coca-Cola bottles.
I find you in my brand new interest in knowing the actual names of flowers.
I find you when I make my kids Kool-Aid and I let them stir.
I find you when an older mom gives me a tip on how to keep your kid from getting lice at school only to think back, "Hey, my mom did that when I was little" and I never knew why. Now I do.
I find you when I discover a curious fact and squirrel it away in a notebook and everyone wonders why.
I find you in my recent need to have a magnifying glass handy.
I find you in canteloupe even though I LOATHE it due to that bumper crop you grew in our backyard and all there was to eat FOREVER was canteloupe; but my daughters love it like candy, so I buy it.
I find you in the Mother's Day cards I get from my daughters and wish I sent you one every year. If you were here, I would tell you that it is only through the lens of being a mother myself that I see and know and feel all that you did.
Keep showing up in little places and I'll keep looking.
Love,
K
My mom (right) with her sister in 1959.
"What's in the marrow is hard to take out of the bone." - Irish Proverb
from Karen Harrington
author, JANEOLOGY
http://www.karenharringtonbooks.com/
3 comments:
Karen, this is a beautiful post, and through it you expose the part of you that knows what it's like to be a mother because of your own.
I am sure she will never be far away.
What a wonderful tribute to your mom! And how nice that she's still such a part of your life.
...there is a knowing that comes as we move along this path and the hands we hold as we travel are forever our guides. Love to you on this Mother's Day...
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