First of all, welcome to Kelly. I tried to leave a comment, but I'm not exactly a technical wizard. I wanted to say that I relate to much of what you said, except for the being young part. For me, the important about writing is to do what you believe is right for you. I've followed my instinct many times and it's always served me well.
Here's some more quotes I'd like to share. May one of them strike a chord with you.
"Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self." -- Cyril Connolly
"For your born writer, nothing is so healing as the realization that he has come upon the right word." -- Catherine Drinker Bowen
"The reason one writes isn't the fact he wants to say something. He writes because he has something to say." -- F. Scott Fitzgerald
"Close the door. Write with no one looking over your shoulder. Don't try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It's the one and only thing you have to offer." -- Barbara Kingsolver.
"Every word is a victory against death." -- Michel Butor
Fatal Encryption available at amazon.com